


There's A Party At Sehun's House

by noraebangbang



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Crack, Other, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 23:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4724669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noraebangbang/pseuds/noraebangbang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sehun was not invited to the party. He just wants to know why there's a goat in a poncho. And who is this dude passed out on his couch?</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's A Party At Sehun's House

**Author's Note:**

> Another [prompt fill](http://exopromptmeme.livejournal.com/20338.html?thread=8936306#t8936306)! I hope it's moderately funny.

Oh Sehun shuffles with a yawn toward his apartment door after a long, irritating shift at work. At least he’ll be able to sleep all weekend, which is pretty much the only consolation he has after pulling a double shift thanks to a coworker failing to show up for his shift. He leans against his door for a few seconds as he fumbles with his keys, eyes blurring a little and making it difficult to discern which is his apartment key and which is the restaurant key.

He pushes what he hopes is the right key into the lock and pauses. Something inside the apartment sounds strange. Like a cat maybe? But Sehun is certain he doesn’t have a cat. He looks down the hall for a moment toward the direction of his neighbor, a nice older guy who may as well be a hermit, and wonders if maybe he bought himself a rather loud cat as a pet.

The door takes more force than usual to open, and Sehun stares at the mess of confetti, streamers and wrapping paper blocking the normally smooth glide along the floor.

“What the fuck…”

When he lifts his eyes, he’s even more surprised. His living room has an abundance of multicolored balloons littering the place. More paper trash covers the coffee table, and for some reason, there is a goat. An actual goat. In his living room. Eating rainbow wrapping paper. Wearing a lemon yellow poncho.

Sehun’s bag slides right off his shoulder and onto the floor.

The goat turns its head toward him, its weird rectangle eyes checking Sehun out. Sehun edges toward the goat, or rather toward the table with his phone, to try and figure out who exactly to call when a goat in a poncho appears to have had a hell of a party in your apartment without you. He almost makes it to the phone when a lump on the sofa starts to move.

Beneath more balloons and wrapping paper and a torn HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner, there’s more shiny yellow plastic, and Sehun watches as this form sits up.

And now, there’s not just a goat in a poncho. There’s a goat, and a man, in ponchos, in his living room.

The man looks dazed, blinking large brown eyes quickly with a furrowed brow. His dark brown hair sticks up wildly, like a cow licked the side of his head. His head turns toward Sehun, and Sehun can almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Who the hell are you?” Sehun asks, picking the phone up carefully. “And how the hell did you get into my apartment?”

“Uh…Excellent question,” this stranger mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck. He squints one eye and looks around, then turns his gaze back to Sehun. “Do you think I could borrow some pants?”

“Are you shitting me?” Sehun gawks for a moment. “You broke into my house with a goat in a poncho and now you’re asking for pants?”

“I didn’t break in,” the man says. “I don’t think. I’m pretty sure I didn’t break in. But I’d really like to stand up and maybe use your bathroom and I am…apparently not wearing anything under this and it feels rude to walk around your apartment naked.”

“You’re in my house uninvited, with a fucking goat, _in a poncho_ , but walking around naked is rude?” Sehun wants to be angry but the absurdity of the situation just makes him more tired. “Why ponchos?”

“Funny story—”

“No,” Sehun says, holding up a hand. “You know what. No. I don’t want to know right now. I’m tired and I’ve been working for sixteen hours, and I need a fucking nap before I can even think about processing this. You’re going to clean up this mess and get the goat out of here and find some fucking pants and then I have questions.”

“Okay,” the stranger says quietly, nodding. He looks near tears, and Sehun would feel guilty if there weren’t goat poop on his carpet.

When he wakes, he’s surprised twice. The first time concerns the fact that his trashed living room now looks better than it did before whatever the hell happened while he was at work. The furniture’s polished, the rugs are vacuumed, the hardwood mopped. Sehun almost walks back into his room to try coming out again in case it’s some kind of mirage induced by work stress.

The second—the stranger in a poncho still remains. And he’s in the kitchen, poncho tied round his waist like a sad plastic skirt, singing quietly in front of the stove. The goat remains as well, boxed into a corner of the kitchen with reams of paper, an open pack lining the floor. It’s almost a little funny, now that he’s had a quick nap.

“How did you get into my apartment?” Sehun asks. The sudden speaking makes the stranger jump, and he turns with those same big eyes threatening tears. Sehun starts to realize that might just be his face.

“Um…well, I remember hanging out with Jongdae and his friends…”

“Jongdae,” Sehun grumbles under his breath, though it’s more like a swear than just someone’s name.

At some point, just after moving into the apartment, Jongdae had talked his way into getting a copy of the key. For emergencies, he insisted. A goat in a poncho was not an emergency, Sehun was fairly certain.

“I think he said this was his place?”

“He lied,” Sehun says shortly. He peeks to see what Jongin is making and is a bit surprised to see him working on a crepe. The question of how he even found ingredients for that lingers, but Sehun chooses not to ask. “Is it your birthday?”

“No…”

“Well whose goat is this?”

“I have no idea.”

Sehun groans again and goes to flop dramatically onto his couch, pulling out his phone to text Jongdae.

_I am wishing a multitude of terrible things upon you, you asshole._

Tiredness overwhelms him again, and he closes his eyes briefly until the goat starts to make noise again. He is definitely going to murder Jongdae. It’s then that Jongdae replies with an unholy amount of winking emojis and a couple of thumbs up. Yes, definitely murder. He texts back with several obscenities before looking toward the kitchen again.

“What’s your name?” he calls out.

“Kim Jongin,” the stranger says. “I’m sorry.”

“Nn. Well. Thank you for cleaning, Jongin,” Sehun says. “You really shouldn’t hang out with Jongdae. He’s a terrible influence.” Jongin blinks a few times, then glances to Sehun’s fridge, to the photo of Sehun back-hugging Jongdae with one arm while they both grin like idiots at the camera. Sehun follows his gaze before letting out a snort. “I’m speaking from experience.”

“Are you two close?” Jongin asks. He grimaces a moment, as if he realizes it’s either too stupid or too invasive to be answered.

“…He has a key to…Yes, we’re close,” Sehun nods. “But probably not anymore. A goat, really? And why ponchos?”

“The goat ate my pants,” Jongin says sheepishly, his tanned skin tinted red.

“That doesn’t answer…” Sehun sighs and looks to his phone again, considering it had been vibrating rather incessantly.

_OK so.  
There was this chick right._

Sehun lets out another groan considering how off the rails every single one of Jongdae’s misadventures gets when they start with that phrase.

 _And I was trying to impress her and I didn’t clean my apt this weekend bc work and I knew you were doing that double so I thought heeeey party at Hunnie’s!_  
_So then I needed a reason for a party so I told her it was Baek’s birthday._  
_It’s not Baek’s birthday._

As if somehow Sehun didn’t realize that.

 _So then I figured that would be a good reason. And then when I was getting party supplies, there was a dude._  
_A dude with a goat._  
_And he was like, hey want this goat?_  
_And I felt bad._  
_The goat meowed at me, Hunnie._

Sehun is almost one hundred percent sure that goats don’t meow.

 _So then I was like, where am I gonna put a goat, and the dude’s like, idk I’ll just kill it, and I was like, :( :( :( :(_  
_So like. His name is Nugget. He likes bananas._  
_I will come collect him and Jongin shortly._  
_I love yooooooooou please don’t kill me._

The urge to throw his phone recedes as Jongin sits a plate with the crepe in front of him, then backs away to sit in a chair across the living room. Sehun frowns, but sits up to eat anyway.

“Well Jongdae answered exactly none of my questions about what the hell happened so I guess I’ll let it go,” Sehun says.

“I’m really sorry,” Jongin says again. “I think Jongdae says we’re about the same age? Maybe we could be friends.”

“You’re asking to be friends while sitting naked with a poncho skirt and I’m guessing a pretty serious hangover?” Jongin’s eyes turn skyward briefly, and he nods. “Wow. I can’t even tell you no.”

Sehun sighs and tries to eat, but finds himself just glancing to Jongin. Jongin puts on a gentle smile.

“The goat is nice, I think,” he says. “Other than eating my pants. I think we have a rapport. He’s like a puppy but…not.”

“Astute observation,” Sehun says. He puts his plate down and gets up. “I can’t. I can see your bits. Let me get you pants.”

Jongin immediately clamps his legs closed and lets out a husky laugh. “Sorry.”

From the kitchen, the goat bleats again, and Sehun heads to his room to carefully plot just how exactly Jongdae will die.


End file.
